We end 2012 in a state of expectancy, a resignation of things beyond our control, an exhale waiting to happen. I end 2012 gainfully employed outside the home–just two nights a week, though. It has been 18 years since I last worked for someone else, other than my family, of course. I asked my daughter Lindy, assistant manager of the pizza place, if she would ask her boss, the owner, if he could use me as a driver–just two nights a week, and just until the Handy Man gets something. I made the temporary nature of my request clear. They said yes.
I worked my first night only to come home and collapse with a full-blown case of the flu. The flu. The virus I had diligently tried to protect against by upping my vitamin D level (because studies show that if your vitamin D level is high enough, you won’t get the flu) and by taking a medicine cabinet full of homeopathics. I watched as my family fell one by one, and I rejoiced that I had not fallen. She who falls last, falls hardest. So it seems. I am now on the mend. It seems almost a fitting end for a dismal year.
I have no idea where this new year will lead us, how temporary my job will be, or whether we will be someplace else in a year. (Relocating has always been on the table, even more so now!) I have no idea where my sweet Dee will end up in college, and whether we will see her weekly, monthly or quarterly. The new year is a path with many turns in it, and we are standing at the gate waiting to go.
I don’t generally make new year’s resolutions. But I am this year. I am resolving to face my trials with a better attitude. I am resolved to not whimper in defeat but glory in victory–where-ever and whenever it comes. I am resolved to love those around me more fiercely, with more abandon and with greater risk than I have in previous years. I am making it my purpose, in short, to live life freely and without fear.
Come along with me….let’s see where 2013 takes us!
Happy New Year!