Almost three years ago I posted about my struggle with weight loss. I did well for a while, losing some weight, determined I would never get that big again. I lost almost thirty pounds before I stopped making the time to exercise with T-Tapp. Life got busy–unimaginably so–and difficult as the emotional process of healing began to take place. So here I am, almost three years later.
In January the employees where I worked embarked on a “biggest loser” contest. I started with high hopes, but about two weeks in, I was completely knocked down with a nasty case of bronchitis. I was sick for almost a month. I only missed two days of work, but I was so exhausted and run down that the cough stayed with me for a very long time. I still managed to lose about 5 pounds, but I decided to drop out of the contest. The perfectionist in me could not bear the thought of trying to win.
In mid-February, I ordered a book that has changed my life. I do not make that statement lightly. A few books have rocked my world in profound ways: The Bible, Prodigal God by Tim Keller, The Wounded Heart by Dan Allender. And Trim Healthy Mama by Pearl Barrett and Serene Allison. When I started out reading the book, all the pieces of all the diet information I had digested over the years began to fall into place. It was all information I heard before–information I believed to be true. I just had never understood how to implement the information in way that helped me lose weight.
This book has changed my life in the few short months since I purchased it. I started out implementing the principles just one item at a time. First I started making my breakfasts in THM style. Most mornings I was eating fried eggs or Muffin in a Mug. Then, I realized that I could eat THM style while at work. I started taking THM snacks, and on Saturdays, I packed THM style salads. By the beginning of March, I had lost 17 pounds. ( We were weighing ourselves on a scale at work.) Had I stayed in the weight loss contest, I would have won second place.
My scale broke a few months ago when one of the children dropped it. I ordered a new scale about a week ago. This morning, I was down 41 pounds from where I started in January. I have not exercised one day. All I am doing is eating–and eating well!–Trim Healthy Mama style.
I gave up sugar. I only use stevia, Truvia, or sugar alcohols for my sweetening needs now. I actually had a lick of some frosting last week, and the sweetness was over-powering. I did not like it. I started making skinny chocolate, and all my chocolate cravings have been satisfied. I am no longer a slave to my plate. I love my food, but I am not controlled by it. I have found freedom without deprivation. I can eat as much as I want, but I find that my wants are less and less….food is fuel. Tasty, delicious fuel, but still just fuel.
This way of eating takes some learning. I gave myself grace to mess up in the beginning, because, as the authors of the book say, you have three hours to re-set. If I eat something detrimental to my weight loss, in three hours I can start over. It is refreshing for this former all-or-nothing thinker to be able to start over in three hours. I have had to learn how to use different ingredients. Glucomannan powder was new to me, but now I am not sure what I would do without it. (I am making pudding in just a bit–low calorie, delicious pudding.) I have learned to love Good Girl Moonshine (aka GGMS) and The Shrinker–both drinks from which my little children love to steal sips.
Perhaps the biggest victory for me is that I am getting rid of the fat clothes. Three years ago, when I started losing the weight, I kept the fat clothes, just in case. Today I have a pile of clothes to get rid of. I am not keeping the pants that literally fall off my hips. There is no “just in case”. Because this time the weight loss does not depend on me getting up to exercise. Nope–I just have to eat my fried eggs or my THM pancakes and then in three hours eat something else delicious and nutritious.
Three years ago I started off at 355 pounds, and I lost down to 329 pounds. Four months ago I started off at 363 pounds, and this morning I weighed in at 322 pounds. But those are just pounds. Three years ago I thought I knew what healing looked like. Today, I know what healing looks like–and I know enough to know that healing continues. The ten thousand pound weight that sat on my soul for so long is gone. How can you measure that? Does it look like pounds melting off your frame? Does it look like dealing with crisis without disabling my ability to function? Does it look like not needing the sugar fix in order to get through a really bad day? Does it look like getting rid of the fat clothes because you know you will never need them again?
God healed my emotional pain. He continues to work in me, churning the cream of my soul to make butter. He keeps reminding me that He alone is sufficient. And He keeps bringing me tools I need to facilitate the healing. Trim Healthy Mama is a God-sent tool to help me heal physically from the food abuse to which I subjected my body for all those years. Food abuse was a symptom of a soul in crisis. Now that I no longer abuse food, I can use food to heal my body.
I cannot wait to share my progress with you. I cannot wait to share with you some of the recipes I love. Come with me as I travel down the scale for good this time.